You Stuff My Stocking
by assilem33
Summary: **COMPLETE** "It's Christmas, Henrietta, you can't go overboard on Christmas! That's just unheard of." Sequel to Talk Turkey to Me - Another short story. Christmas with the Cullens and of course the Hendersons.
1. Bella Cullen - 1

**1\. Bella Cullen**

"I this many yee-uhs old, gwampa." Everly's sitting on her knees in Harold's - _grandpa's _\- lap, shoving three little fingers in his face. "See? I big."

"You ain't big enough to be watchin' a show like that one you had on."

"Oh for goodness sakes, Harold, it's a children's show!" Henrietta grabs the remote off the arm of the chair and starts flipping through channels, looking for Everly's favorite show.

"That one!" Everly squeals, hopping around all over Harold. "Paw Patwol."

Harold is grumbling about it _not bein' right that animals are talkin' and walkin' around like damn human folk _and asking _whatever happened to movies like Old Yeller._

"No, Old Yella, gwampa. Paw Patwol!"

Harold gives in because _duh_, he _always _gives in to her. Who would have thought five years ago Harold would be my children's _grandpa_, the crazy old man.

You gotta love the bastard, though.

"Bella, dear, are you sure you didn't go overboard?"

_Overboard?_

"It's _Christmas_, Henrietta, you _can't_ go overboard on Christmas! That's just unheard of."

Harold snorts. "There was a time you didn't even celebrate Christmas and now you're actin' like you're some Clark Griswold wannabe."

"Harold, you have got to stop cussing in front of my daughter."

_And Clark Griswold who?_

"Here we go again," he says, rolling his eyes. "She ain't gonna be sayin' those words."

"I not say them," Everly agrees, her eyes glued onto the TV.

Harold gives me the _I told you so_ look.

_Fucking Harold._

"Anyway, ain't Christmas lights supposed to go on the _outside _of the house?"

I ignore such a stupid question and walk away from Harold and step into the kitchen where Edward's leaning against the counter holding a sleeping Forrest - our son, not a _literal_ forest, of course.

If I thought he looked sexy in one of his GQ sweaters, well add a sleeping baby in his arms, and holy shit.

"Harold's right, you know," he says, smirking.

"Oh, shut up."

Edward laughs, and I grab the hot cocoa with whipped cream from the counter and take a sip.

To think I missed out on _Christmas _for more than half my life.

_To think!_

* * *

**AN: They're back because...duh! ****I want to see what Christmas is like with Harold and Henrietta.**


	2. Edward Cullen - 2

Bella _did _go overboard, and I fucking love it. She's been a cute Christmas psychotic ever since Everly was born.

Right now she's standing on our bed in her flannel onesie hanging mistletoe on the wall. She grins at me over her shoulder and shrugs.

"That way you have to kiss me all night."

"I don't need mistletoe for that."

"Well, it _is _Christmas, so if you want to kiss me you have to do it under mistletoe."

While she's preoccupied hanging mistletoe she thinks we actually need, I drop my pants and pull my shirt over my head. When she turns around, she gasps and shakes her head.

"No, you're not distracting me right now. Maybe later. I have so much more shit to do and you being all…" she waves her hands at my almost naked body. "..._you_ is only going to make me fall behind, and I still need to wrap presents and stuff stockings…"

"I want to _stuff _your stocking," I say, trying not to laugh at the stupid shit coming out of my mouth.

"...and clean the house for tomorrow…"

"Or I could stuff your mouth with…"

"...oh my God!" She shrieks and _blushes_.

Chuckling, I yank her by her hoodie until she's falling into my arms. I kiss her, and she shuts up and lets me, and it's not because of the fucking mistletoe.

"Edward, your mom's coming over…"

"What?"

She nibbles on my bottom lip and nods her head. "Yeah, she's coming over to help me prepare dinner for tomorrow…"

I glance at the clock and look at my dorky, crazy wife. "It's after eight."

She nods and tries to pull away from me. "I know. We planned late so the kids would be in bed."

The doorbell rings, and if it wasn't locked, my mom would have already pushed her way inside without a welcome even though she's always welcome but I really wanted to spend some time letting Bella play with my _stick._

"You let your mom in, and I'll go…"

I shake my head and cut her off. "No, you let my mom in because…" I look down at my crotch, and Bella snorts like it's funny to give me blue balls before my mom comes over for a visit.

"I'll go," she says and gives me one last kiss before she bounces off the bed. She slips on a pair of slippers that match her onsie and sways her cute little ass out of the room.

"Harold, what are you doing here?"

I grab my clothes and put them back on.

"You said you were makin' Christmas dinner."

"For _Christmas_," Bella says exasperated. "Did you come all this way just to eat it all before the big day?"

"All this way?" He snorts. "It's not even a mile's walk."

"Did you _walk_?" She asks, shocked, and I chuckle.

"Woman, it's freezin' out there."

"I know, Harold. Wash your hands and I'll let you peel the potatoes."

"Oh, you'll let me, huh? That's because it's a shit job."

Bella laughs - I love her laugh - because she knows it is.

Damn, Harold's such a cock block.


	3. Bella Cullen - 3

**3\. Bella Cullen**

"We'll be here first thing in the morning," Henrietta says, kissing my cheek.

Harold honks the horn, no doubt waking all the neighbors up.

"That _man_," Henrietta complains, shaking her head and waving as she walks down the sidewalk. "I'm comin' old man. Hold your horses."

Harold rolls the window down. "I ain't gettin' any younger, woman. Let's roll."

"Goodnight, Harold. See you in the morning!" I call out.

"Have the coffee brewin' and my presents ready," he yells.

Edward chuckles behind me. He's always thought Harold was a hoot.

A _coot_ more like it.

Once Henrietta's in the car, I close the door and think about banging my head against it over and over.

Esme left an hour ago, but Harold - _that man, love him to death_ \- he's hard to get rid of.

"Can we go to bed now?" Edward asks.

Don't I wish it.

"I have to finish wrapping presents."

"I want to unwrap _you_," he says, pulling me into his arms, trying to shove his hand down the front of my onesie pajamas. "Come on, baby, let me make love to you under the mistletoe."

"Mistletoe's for _kissing_."

He nuzzles my neck and gets the zip of my onesie half way down. "Don't worry. I'll be _kissing_ you."

I'm so tempted. I want to say _fuck it_ and let Edward have his way with me, but how disappointed Everly and Forrest would be tomorrow morning with no wrapped presents. To think they'd think poor Santa was a farce.

I mean, he _is_, but they don't need to know that yet.

"After presents," I say, arching my neck a bit, the better for him to lick and suck at the skin there. "I only have a few and then you can have your wicked way with me."

He groans and bites my neck a little _too_ roughly, but only a _little _before lifting his head.

"I think we should drink hot cocoa," I breathe breathlessly all out of breath.

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's Christmas Eve. You drink hot chocolate on Christmas Eve."

"Says who?"

"Me! We do _it_ every year, honey!"

"Come on," he chuckles. "I'll help you wrap. The faster we get this done, the faster I can fuck you."

How romantic.

_Seriously._

He has such a way with words.

He walks me down the hall, his hand on the back of my neck, squeezing all sexually, making me all hot and bothered.

He still gets off on making me uncomfortable except the only thing uncomfortable on my person right now is the way my panties are sticking to my crotch.

_Goodness me _\- as Henrietta would say.


	4. Edward Cullen - 4

**4\. Edward Cullen**

Bella's laying on the floor surrounded by presents. We finally got them all wrapped and now she wants to fall asleep on me.

I want my present now.

"You're not sleepy are you?" I ask, grabbing her foot and dragging her little body towards me and away from the presents.

"No," she says.

She is, though.

"It's okay. You'll be wide awake before I'm done with you." I stand and lift her over my shoulder and pat her fleece covered ass.

"You have to do all the work," she tells my back, sticking her hand down the back of my pants.

She makes me laugh.

I toss her on the bed and watch as she dramatically bounces on the mattress. I take my clothes off and _finally _I have her attention.

She sits up on her elbows, and I grab my erection and give it a few strokes, watching as she licks her lips.

"Are you going to unwrap me now?"

"Do I get to eat you?"

I slowly fuck my fist, enjoying the sight of her flushed cheeks and half lidded eyes as she watches me.

"Only if I get to eat you, too."

"You taste better," I say, crawling up the bed and over her body.

"That's a matter of opinion…"

I shut her up by kissing her open mouth and sticking my tongue down her throat. She wraps me up in her arms like a little monkey.

She's so soft and warm, and I'm so damn horny I could get off just rubbing against the soft fleece covering my favorite part of her.

I bite her lip and lick her chin before grabbing the zipper of her onesie with my teeth and pulling it down, using both hands to rip it open.

"Don't worry about ripping the wrapping," she says, pulling the sleeves off her arms. "The wrapping doesn't matter, it's what's underneath that counts."

"You're right," I say and suck a nipple into my mouth.

She's moving beneath me, lifting her hips, her hands trying to push the damn onesie down her legs.

"Why do you wear these?" I ask, moving my head to her other nipple.

"It's Christmas," she grunts. "You wear onesie footie pajamas on Christmas!"

"Says who?" I ask, swirling my tongue around her pretty little nipple.

"Me! Okay, stop that! Take these things off before I die!"

I chuckle and pull off her nipple slowly, my hands gripping her pj's and ripping them off.

She's not wearing panties.

"Are you wet?"

I know she is.

"Come and find out," she says, and I spread her legs and slide all the way inside her.

"Oh my God," she whispers. "It's been so long I forgot what this feels like."

I lift her hips and slide deeper. "It's been two days, baby."

"Oh. Well, it feels like a lifetime. Stop talking and make love to me under the mistletoe."

"Mistletoe's for kissing."

"Says who?" She asks breathlessly.

"You." I kiss her chest and do her slow.

"What do I know?"

_Fuck, I love her._


	5. Bella Cullen - 5

**5\. Bella Cullen**

"Gwampa!" Everly screams when Harold and Henrietta walk through the door at the butt crack of dawn. "Mehwee Chwistmas!"

Okay, it's actually eight in the morning, but when you have a husband that _kisses_ you under the mistletoe all night, you're bound to be a wee tired.

"How's my little lady? What did Santa bring my girl?"

_Fucking Harold_ is too sweet.

"Santa not eat the cookies," she says, and Harold gives me the twisty eyes. I know what those eyes are saying - _you fucked up, woman._

So what, I forgot to eat the cookies - sue me! I'll live with the guilt for the rest of my life.

"Hello, dear," Henrietta says.

"Hi gwamma. I mad at Santa!"

"I'm sure Santa's belly was full to bursting. He delivers presents to millions of children around the world. That's a lot of cookies, dear."

Harold grunts. "He could have ate one more damn cookie. It ain't hard to eat cookies."

_Fucking Harold_ is an ass!

"I love cookies. Mmmmmm," she says rubbing her belly.

"Everybody loves cookies. I'll be sendin' Santa a letter. He'll be hearin' an earful from me," Harold says.

_For the love of God, Harold, shut up!_

Henrietta slaps Harold in the chest before giving me a hug. "Merry Christmas, dear."

"Merry Christmas."

"Come on, show your old man what that old fart brought you."

Everly grabs Harold's hand and pulls him into the living room, poor Henrietta following behind the two partners in crime.

"Hey, mama," Edward says. "Somebody's looking for you."

I turn to see my little Forrest reaching for me, and I grab him from Edward and kiss his cute face. "Pawpaw," he says, rubbing his eyes.

Of _course! _My kids sure do love them some Harold.

Edward rests his hand on my ass and kisses Forrest's head before giving me a pat and following the sound of Everly's voice.

I grab Forrest a sippy of milk and hand him off to Harold.

"Baby," Edward says, peeking out the window. "Your dad's here."

"Chawlie!" Everly says excitedly, making Harold all jealous.

_Hilarious_!

"It's _Grandpa _Charlie, Ev," Edward says.

"Harold, you've gotten her into some bad habits," Henrietta says.

"Me? It ain't my fault I'm grandpa and he's Charlie."

"Pawpaw," Forrest says, cuddling Harold.

"That's right, boy. I'm your pawpaw."

I open the front door before my dad knocks. He's not a holly jolly person, more like the grinch, but he comes over every Christmas to say hello and give the kids a gift.

He never comes for dinner, and he's out of here lickety split. Since mom left us, he's had a hatred for Christmas. She's to blame for me missing out on all this Christmas cheer for more than half my life.

"Hey, dad."

"Bells," he says, kissing the side of my head.

No Merry Christmas from him.

"Gwampa Chawlie!" Everly screams - she's a screamer -. "Look, I got a baby doll."

"You better take good care of her."

She nods. "I a good mommy."

"I just stopped by to bring these gifts. I'm heading to Billy's to have a beer."

_It's a little early for beer._

"You sure you don't want to stay?"

"I'm good. Send my hellos to that family of yours."

He pats Everly's head and kisses my cheek before he's walking down the sidewalk back to his truck. Everly carries her gift to the living room, and Edward comes up behind me, his arms wrapping around my chest, his lips pressing against my cheek.

"He'll come around," he says.

"When hell freezes over."

Edward chuckles. "Let's eat breakfast. I think Harold's going to start eating cardboard if we wait any longer."

"You ain't wrong," Harold calls.

"Harold!" Henrietta scolds. "Give them their privacy."

"If they want privacy, don't be invitin' guests over."

"Did we invite them?" I whisper, looking up at my hot guy.

"Every year, baby."

I kiss his smiling lips, and he lets me go.

"Come on, Harold, you can fry the eggs," I call.

"I always got the shit jobs," he complains but I hear him getting up.

"That mouth," Henrietta says.

"I not say them words, gwamma," Everly says, making Edward chuckle.

"You cook all the time," I say.

"Exactly. I'm on holiday." He wraps an arm around my shoulder and leads me into the kitchen. "Now, about them cookies…"

_Fucking Harold._


	6. Edward Cullen - 6

**6\. Edward Cullen**

Harold's snoring on the couch, and Henrietta's down the hall with Everly. She got roped into playing dollies and tea party, but I know she loves giving Everly attention when Harold's not around to steal it all.

Mom and dad and Alice, Jasper and Effie will be here in a couple hours, so Bella's in the kitchen with Forrest, cleaning breakfast dishes.

"Mawmaw, more," Forrest says, banging his cup on his high chair.

"You're going to have a belly ache."

"No no. More."

Bella pours more Cherrio's on his tray and then goes back to the sink. I walk up behind her and press my front into her back.

"Hey, did you come to help? My fingers are all pruny. Harold refused to wash a single dish."

"He's sleeping on the couch."

"Of course!" She says, throwing her hands up and getting water all over me and her. "He's going to drive me to an early grave."

"I think it's the other way around."

She snorts. "I'm not that bad. It's all in good fun. I love the old guy."

"He loves you, too."

I reach into the water and wash some silverware while she rests against me. It's not easy, but she's all cute and little in front of me, and I like the way my dick resting against her ass feels.

She rinses and I wash and when we're done, Forrest is asleep.

"Hmmm," I say, rubbing my lips against her hair. "Think we can sneak a shower together."

"I already showered," she says, shoving her hands up the back of my shirt.

"I'll get you dirty then you can shower with me."

"Edward," she laughs, slipping a hand down my pants and briefs to grip my ass. "As much as I want to get _dirty_ with you, I don't want to do it with Harold and Henrietta in our house."

"That sucks, baby. I had a present for you." I press my hips into her and let her feel it.

"You suck," she whispers.

"No, I want you to suck," I whisper back.

She nods and gets on tiptoes to give me a damn good kiss. I could kiss her forever, but she ends it and squeezes my ass one last time before letting me go.

_Damn._

"Go shower, and I'll finish up in here. Your family will be here soon enough. I can't wait to give Effie her presents. Hey, we don't have Christmas music on. What's Christmas without Christmas music?"

"Still Christmas."

"Oh, shut up," she laughs and tells Alexa to play _all the Christmas music._

She's such a Christmas freak, but I fucking love it.


	7. Bella Cullen - 7

**7\. Bella Cullen**

The Cullen's have arrived and it's gifts galore. If I'm being honest, I _love_ their gifts. One year, they got me an electric blanket - _electric!_ Edward was worried I was going to start myself on fire but that thing only shocked me once and kept me warm all winter. Well, _that_ and Edward's sexy ass.

Forrest is sitting between my legs on the floor, and I'm sitting between Edward's. We're watching Everly and Effie rip through their presents, both of them screaming like crazy psychos every time they reveal what it is.

Esme's taking pictures while Carlisle talks it up with Harold and Henrietta at the dining room table.

"I love it, gwammy. Look mommy!"

Everly holds up the hair chalk to make her hair colorful, and that stuff is so cool, we might have to color our hair together.

"That's cool, Ev. You gonna share with me?"

She nods excitedly. "I do yuh hay-uh! I do yuh hay-uh, too, daddy!"

I snort and look over my shoulder at Edward. "You'd look cool with pink hair. We can match."

He grins and shakes his head. "Only if it washes out," he says, making my heart all warm and gushy.

"It does. I'll wash it out for you."

He nods and kisses my nose, and damn, I want to jump his bones right here on the living room floor. I turn around and catch Esme watching us, her eyes glistening like they do _every single time_ Edward and I show some PDA.

Crazy lady!

"Come here, Forrest," Alice says, holding her hands out. "Come see Auntie."

He tosses his ball to the side and stands and runs into Alice's arm, squealing and screaming when she gives him blubbery kisses all over his neck.

Everly jumps up and runs out of the room with her hair chalk, and I just _know _she's going to give Harold a looksie at her cool gift.

Effie walks on her knees to Edward and me and falls into my arms, giving me a good hug. "Thank you. I wanted a hoverboard _so_ bad, but mom wouldn't get it for me but now I know it's because you got it for me."

"Hey, I bought it, too," Edward says, making Effie giggle and move to hug him, too.

"I'm going to go show Uncle Harold!"

_Harold's like the kid whisperer._

"Let's get all this paper picked up. Jasper, can you give me a hand?" Esme says, grabbing what she can.

Jasper collects all the trash while Edward and I sit here like it's not our house and our kids' mess.

"When are you guys going to pop out another one of these?" Alice asks, rocking Forrest back and forth on her knee.

Good _God_, woman, don't give Edward any ideas!

"I don't know," I say, and Edward slides me across the carpet, closer between his legs, making Alice smirk. "It's in God's hands."

I'm talking out of my ass and also taking birth control, so no baby making going on around these parts.

I mean, we're doing the fun part, just not making any babies.

Edward chuckles and nuzzles my neck, very much okay with the public display of affection no matter who's around. I love it at the same time it makes me a smidge uncomfortable.

It's been five years now, so I should probably just get used to it and get over it. It's not that I don't like it, because _boy _do I!

"Bella, dear, I'm going to start warming the dishes," Henrietta says, and then walks away without waiting for me to respond.

"I'll be right there," I call and try to stand, but Edward's arms around my stomach don't let me budge.

"Edward…"

He kisses my cheek and squeezes my belly then lets me go. Alice laughs and shakes her head and hands off Forrest to his daddy.

"He's obsessed," Alice says loud enough for Edward to hear, linking her arm through mine. "_Obsessed!_"

I look over my shoulder, and Edward winks, and it's not even a creepy wink like you'd think. It's so fucking sexy, I want to kick these people out of our house, so I can have my way with him.

Even all these years later, my face heats up.

"Bella, get your mind outta the gutter. We're hungry," Harold says.

"Harold!" I scold, sounding like Henrietta. "The food's cooked. We're warming it up. Practice patience this Christmas."

I hear Edward chuckling behind me, and Carlisle grins.

"I'll practice patience after you get your ass is in that kitchen."

"Harold, what did I say about cussing in front of the kids?"

He looks around dramatically, and I get his point.

_Whatever._


	8. Edward Cullen - 8

**8\. Edward Cullen**

Christmas is over.

Everly's already asleep tucked into her bed.

Bella's laying flat on her back asleep on the living room floor with Forrest asleep on her chest. The house is a mess except for the kitchen because mom, Alice, and Henrietta tackled that shit.

I'm ready to take Bella to bed.

Gently, I pull Forrest from her arms and take him down the hall to his room and lay him in his crib. He doesn't fuss, and I quietly close the door behind me.

Bella's still flat on her back and so damn gorgeous.

I get on all fours over her and kiss her until she wakes up.

"Christmas is over," she says sadly.

"Yeah, baby, but I still have a present for you."

"What is it?" She asks, adorably confused.

"My cock in your mouth."

"Oh my _God_," she snorts and laughs, slapping me in the chest. "I forgot about that. You're going to have to carry me to our room because I'm beat."

I stand and pull her to her feet and then lift her into my arms. I love how tiny she is.

"Wait! Take us to the kitchen. I need some water."

She grabs a water bottle and hits the lights, and I carry her down the hall and set her on her feet by the bed. I start to lift her shirt, but she stops me.

"Wait, wait…" she slips away from me and walks into the bathroom. "...get into bed. I have a surprise for you."

"You weren't supposed to get me anything."

I strip down to nothing and crawl between the flannel sheets Bella's obsessed with.

"It's not really a present," she calls. "But I mean, I hope you like it. Okay, close your eyes."

I close them.

"Are they closed?"

"They're closed," I call but open them when I hear her tiny feet at the side of the bed.

"Edward, you cheat!"

She puts her hands on her hips all pissed off, but _damn_. She's all decked out in red lace, looking like my sexy Mrs. Clause.

"Come here," I say.

"You ruined it. I was going to crawl under the sheets and have you _feel_ the surprise."

"I like _seeing_ it."

She drops her hands and turns around, giving me a view of her ass.

I sit up and reach out, grabbing her and tossing her on the bed, letting my hands feel all over her.

When she's breathless and squirmy, I sit back against the headboard and spread my legs a bit. "Come get your present, baby."

She grins and blushes - that blush gets me every damn time - and crawls between my legs.

"I think this present is more for you," she says, grabbing the base of my erection. "Mr. Selfish."

"You'll like it," I say.

She licks the tip - the tease - before sliding me all the way inside.

She licks and sucks me until I can't take it anymore. I haul her up my body and kiss her.

"Want to make a baby?"

"I can't when I'm on the pill," she says.

"Want to practice making a baby?"

"Uh...yeah!"

"Want to get off the pill, so we can make a baby?"

"Edward!" She laughs. "Fuck me!"

I roll her to her back and tear her panties down her legs and shove all the way inside her.

"Merry Christmas, baby," I whisper onto her mouth.

"I _love _Christmas," she breathes. "Can't it be Christmas all year long?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not Christmas all year long."

"It could be."

I grind my hips and shake my head. "Baby, shut up."

"Okay," she says, wrapping her legs around my hips. "Merry Christmas."

I chuckle then kiss her to shut her up so I can practice making a baby with her.

Afterward, she's snuggled up to my side, rubbing her hand up and down my chest.

"What are we going to do for New Year's? I was thinking..."

"I'm taking you out."

"Really?" She asks, happily.

"Yeah, baby. No kids. No Harold."

She snorts. "I can't wait."

Damn, I love her crazy Christmas ass so damn much.


End file.
